Summertime restfulness.June 22, 2022
It’s June 21st. Gemini season has just come to an end, the summer solstice is officially upon us and the temperature is steadily rising. Thankfully my unit isn’t directly exposed to the sun so it stays moderately cool in here but we’re starting to feel the heat. I pray we don’t experience another wave of frightening and ruthless wildfires this year but the potential for it is certainly there. It’s practically routine at this point. Every year brings about increasingly challenging weather conditions in drought plague California. I went for a walk around the neighborhood earlier today to get some fresh air and stretch my legs. I left my phone at home so I could hear my thoughts and get in synch with the rhythm and flow of my surroundings. On the way back I encountered an old couple. I first made eye contact with the lady in the passenger seat and we greeted each other with big bright smiles. “You are a beautiful sight, thank you for being you.” Is what she said to me as I got closer. I was really taken by her kindness and thanked her for it. I wished the both of them a wonderful day, to which she replied that I had made hers. Not sure what I had done to deserve that I instinctively bowed to show my respect - truth is she was one of the highlights of my day. The gentleman sitting next to her, whom I believe to be her husband, was just about to exit the vehicle so he could get around to help his wife. He was smiling from ear to ear and chuckled as I waved goodbye. “That’s right young lady, my wife is an angel, a generous purveyor of light, sweet as honey and you were just given a taste. Take it and carry it with you.” is how I chose to interpret his cheeky laughter. “Lucky me. Lucky you.” I thought. They seemed quite happy together. If we all got in the habit of volunteering affirming and compassionate words to one another as we crossed paths, what a difference it would make in this world. I got back to the house and dug into V’s legendary sambar. This one had bits and pieces of okra in it, an offering for the soul. I get to share space with a food enthusiast who cooks authentic Southern Indian vegetarian dishes and a chef by trade who cooks, well… Pretty much anything under the Sun. Wondering how I got so fortunate. It’s quite possibly the best living situation I’ve ever had and I’m so very grateful for a peaceful home where respect and consideration reigns supreme. There were a variety of fun events happening this past weekend in celebration of Juneteenth. Kamasi Washington, Masego, Buddy and Smino were performing for free on Saturday in Leimert Park. On Sunday, a block party hosted by the talented Sevyn Streeter took place at Wisdome in the Arts district. I had bought tickets for that one but ended up skipping both these events to focus on gathering material and tools for a little project. I’m finally trying my hands at furniture making and got a starter kit to get things rolling. I now have a power drill, a jigsaw and an orbital sander in my tool box. I have no idea what I’m doing but I’m so pumped to learn. Spending all day cutting up pieces and sanding wood blocks was a brand new experience but one I could get used to. I’ve just stepped into a Universe I’ve been wanting to familiarize myself with for a while - it’s somewhat intimidating but so exciting to think about. There’s a million things I want to do on this planet but there’s so little time. I can no longer afford to let fear get in the way of my expansion. Now is the time. On another note, I quit smoking pot on my birthday and I’m experiencing withdrawal symptoms, primarily in my guts. I feel quite nauseous in the morning. I feel nauseous as I’m writing these words. Detoxing from marijuana has been more difficult than I had anticipated it to be; this is my second attempt. The first time was back in April. I lasted two weeks but came 4/20 I caved. Weaning myself off THC kicked my ass. I was anxious, irritable, nauseous and slightly depressed. Sleep disturbances was also an issue. I’d wake up several times throughout the night, had trouble focusing during the day and had major cravings. After a week and half, I started to settle down and was feeling better but instead of holding firm I ended up hitting the dispensary and breaking my weed fast. It was a mistake on my part, but that’s okay, I get to give it another go. The truth is, back in April, I had no desire to quit but the habit was too costly. I had also gotten to a point where I was really abusing it and not necessarily enjoying it all that much. I had become heavily dependent on smoking ot cope with stress but after the removal of my primary source of anxiety - aka the narc in my life - I figured I had to purge. I dislike the idea of being reliant upon anything outside of myself for balance. Sun, water, nutritious meals and regular movement are my best allies right now. This time around, my priorities have shifted and it is clear to me that I want to change my relationship with the substance. I’m not against it altogether but it needs to be more of a ceremonial indulgence than a casual every day, anytime of the day, treat. The dose makes the poison. Too much of anything is detrimental to the system, water included. I can feel it and that is simply not how I want to feel about my marijuana use. It’s neither easy nor pleasant, just last night I was having major cravings for a smoke, but I’m called to do what serves me best and smoking regularly now feels like a disservice to my goals and overall wellbeing. I plan on supplementing the habit with breath work, intuitive dancing and tai chi - help me God. My stomach is not thrilled right now but it’s a new season and I embrace it. Thank God for music; it gets me through everything in life. I haven’t danced since I contracted Covid and I feel like something is missing from my life. My body wants to move all of the time. It feels as though a switch has been flipped and I really want to explore that. This is completely unrelated, but you know, that feeling when someone or something is great by all accounts but just not for you? That’s right… I’ve got nothing but positive things to say about S but it’s not a match for me and trying to force a connection is unhealthy, no matter how lovely it is. I’m now very clear on what I’m searching for and this attachment isn’t a fit for me. I’m seeking partnership, not distraction. Time is our most valuable asset and this doesn’t make sense. I don’t wish to waste mine nor his - I have to go. Manifesting a summer of learning, meaningful practices, good romance, laughter, flawless skin, as well as unmitigated joy and peace. Oh yeah, forgot to mention that my face has finally cleared up and is as smooth as a baby’s bottom. I had been struggling with severe eczema flare ups and breakout due to stress, poor sleep, inadequate beauty regimen, and elevated sugar levels. I gave my skin a lot of attention over the past two weeks and it’s paying off. Life is beautiful. I’m alive. I’m blessed. I’m inspired. I’m energized. Maya and Rio are legit the most loyal companions I could ever ask for. My nest is filling up with plants and is arguably the most incredible and soothing space I’ve ever gotten an opportunity to exist in. I’ve chatted with my parents every single day this week and they are both doing fantastic. What more could I ask for? Right… More money - that would be great! Running into financial constraints has been challenging but, that too, is coming my way in divine’s timing. I trust that trees will bear fruits, sooner than later. I’m faithful. I’m patient. I’m in good spirit and I’m ready to receive.
#SelfRegulate #MarijuanaWithdrawal #GoodMeasure #AchievingBalance #TooLittle #TooMuch #GutHealth #LungHealth #BetterDecisions #GoodHabits #Cleansing #Movement #Juneteenth #Holiday #Blackness
Thank you again. Again. Today and everyday.June 18, 2022
For clean water.
For access to information.
For good health.
For unconditional love.