As I lay in bed to rest, I am called to pray for strength and guidance along my journey while I strive to tune in even more with myself and bring forth my vision of the months ahead. As described in a previous post, tomorrow will kick off a regimented lifestyle based on a daily schedule that is set to begin every morning at 5 am. This strict implementation isn’t meant to overwhelm me. On the contrary, it has for intent to streamline my day to day activities and ensure that I dedicate enough time and attention to all of the things in my life that I require in order to feel balanced and energized. As I lay in bed to rest, I am also called to express my gratitude for my mentor and friend who has seen me through the roughest of storms. I used to work as a junior consultant for G who is Swedish and twice my age but has been in my life in a far greater capacity than that of an employer. I recently noticed that I typically refer to him as my old boss and perhaps it is to readily explain the age difference but, before anything else, he is a trusted friend. There aren’t many I trust. Nowadays it comes paired with a gut feeling I know I can interpret correctly. G is like a family member I can talk to about virtually anything going on in my life - a cool uncle or older cousin I can confide in and work through things with. He is also this mischievous friend I can talk smack to and poke fun at myself with. He is like a teammate that helps me see the light in my darkest moments and pushes me back into the training room. Despite the hierarchy characterizing our positions he rarely regarded me as subservient to him. Whenever he implied that he was above me in the chain of command, which was absolutely the case, he would follow up with highlighting the fact that we were more so partners in business - as if to correct himself of his own accord. Although I also assumed the role of personal assistant for many years and was tasked with things he couldn’t be bothered with, I was truly made to feel like his partner in business during my time working under his direction. I was never micro managed. I was trusted with sensitive information about client’s product launches and included in unfolding communication with designers or manufacturers. I was involved each step of the way, being shown how to source just about anything, build relationships with suppliers, navigate crises and meet deadlines. In every lunch meeting, every office meeting, every room, I was introduced as G’s partner. G has always been straightforward in his business approach, much like he is in life. If he commits to a project, he will give it his best shot. If he cannot do something, he’ll say why. I didn’t felt the need to wear a mask or filter my thoughts around him for very long. We seem to have always held space for each other’s opinions even when we vehemently disagree with one another. Occasionally butting heads on how to go about things hasn’t made us respect each other any less. Our mutual propensity to seek out the best outcome and quickly achieve conflict resolution has actually strengthened our bond over time. The age difference has never been a cause for awkwardness or friction; we attribute great value to what the other has to say and can both be flexible. If what the other says makes more sense, we’re both willing to acknowledge it and let go, which makes working together easy. G has been open to learning from me and my background as much as I have been interested in learning from him and his background. Prior to settling in the Unites States, he has lived in various European countries as well as northern Africa, hence he is no stranger to displacement. Beneath the surface of his tech nerd profile lies a deep love for nature and craftsmanship. Like me, he has a cemetery of abandoned hobbies that once upon a time would set him free such as flying planes or camping off-grid. He is a rather interesting character. Unassuming on the surface but quite colorful once the top layer has peeled away. We crack each other up and call each other out all the time. We check in on one another, offer each other words of advice and have a bond forged in deep trust. It feels to me that we are mirror souls experiencing life at different stages. When my back was against the wall and I didn’t know where to turn he volunteered to be my co-signer and help me secure housing. He loaned me an emergency fund based on my furniture stock and sales projections for Spring and Summer 2022. He offered to get me on board with a project he was working on when I desperately needed a source of income. He became a lifeline throughout my transition. He dropped off meds and groceries when I got sick with Covid and gave me space during times I felt unwell - no question asked. When I decided that I wanted to focus on my art and fully dedicate to my recovery, I expressed that to him as honestly as I could and he perfectly understood where I was coming from. There was no pressure to take on the job or anything I didn’t wish to commit myself to. There was no urgency to pay him back immediately - he gave me time to figure out my next step and showed me grace. When I hit a dry spell due to the unpredictability of the market, he loaned me a little more money to get me through that hump, certain that I would multiply it. When I was losing faith, he straightened me out. He believed in me even when I doubted myself and kept me focused on the bigger picture. He encouraged me to exploit my gifts if I felt it was the only thing that was making sense to me moving forward. He not only encouraged me and uplifted me when I was low, he invested in me when all the odds were against me. He had no doubt whatsoever. He spotted me money to buy dog food and art supplies. Even when my plans didn’t align with his, he nudged me to follow my intuition and do what I felt was in my best interest. I regularly take his advice; that’s of course when it makes sense to me. When I don’t, he accepts that there is a reason for it and watches me carve my own path. If ever in need of help, he shows up for me and empowers me to resolve my own problems. If I bring an idea to him, he listens carefully. If he can help improve it in any way, he kindly offers suggestions. If he doesn’t understand it, he asks relevant questions and tries to see things from my point of view. I do the same in return but he’s more patient than me at it. I’ve learned a great deal from him, in business and in life. He sometimes declares that he trusts me with his life because he sees right through me and knows my heart. I often say that we must be kindred spirits because we understand each other’s ways too well . We can hold a mirror to each other’s face with integrity. We rarely clash over strategies and methods. When we do, we clear things up and move on. I know that he looks out for me and my interests in the same way that I look out for him and his interests. Until just a few days ago, I owed G close to 6 grand. It was impossible for me to start from scratch without a clean slate. I knew it and obsessed over ways to generate money so I could quickly pay off my balance. Clearing my debt became my priority but the location rental business I was working to set up was too slow to take hold and opportunities to flip furniture were scarce without capital. I was losing resolve and internally freaking out, ready to take a meaningless job and surrender all of my time in order to get by. I was fed up with being so stressed out about due dates for other payments and was giving into the fears birthed by a lack mindset. He talked me out of taking a job that would surely get in the way of my personal goals. Deep down I had no desire to go down that route so my highest self sided with him real quick, emphasizing the reasons why it made so little sense for me to do that. I knew it wasn’t the right call. I was just preoccupied with showing that I was determined to do all I could to honor my word. Oh but thank God he talked me out of a sales job and a daily commute to Granada Hills… That’s not the point though. The point is that  G demonstrated patience and administered the proper medicine when I needed it. He helps me to reframe my perspective even when things feel stagnant. He helps me to push myself even when I don’t want to hear it. He was right to encourage me to stay calm and keep at it; all I needed was to stick it out a bit longer. July delivered a winning streak of lucky finds that I was able to flip fast. They brought in a nice stack of cash which wiped away a large chunk of my debt. In just one week I was able to turn things around. It didn’t occur to me until this afternoon that one of these find was my highest grossing piece of furniture I have ever sold. I made $2200 in net profit on a sectional sofa, purchased cash by the buyer and picked up by movers the same day. It is the most I’ve made in a single item transaction. Until then, $1400 was my record. Two days later I made $900 in net profit with another designer sofa I got the opportunity to rescue in exchange for peanuts. Out of those sales I pocketed $600 and surrendered the rest but what makes me most proud is that both of these items were headed towards imminent discard. They were being given away and would have ended up in the dumpster if not collected on time - their rightful owners were moving away and didn’t want to go through the hassle of finding these stunning pieces a new home. Well, that right there is the thrilling part so lucky me. I love nothing more than to spot significant value in someone else’s trash and turn that into a profit that is well worth my time. I do my best to recognize an opportunity, express gratitude for it, offer to immediately act on it, co-ordinate pick up, restore it if necessary, stage it, photograph it, list it and turn it into an asset. It took me a day and a half to figure out how to best deal with velvet and treat it to a face lift. I had to deep clean an oversized ottoman and all 14 cushions (seating + back rests), as well as the armrest and side panels of this big and bold terracotta sectional sofa. I had to do it all carefully, by hands. By the time my work was complete and all of the loose threads were trimmed it looked as good as new. It was indeed well worth my time and efforts. It was a gorgeous vintage find and a perfect fit for my living room setup - I could have gotten used to it. I had several interested parties and ended up selling the sofa for asking price in just a few days. It went to some production company for the set of some show I can’t recall the name of; nothing I’ve ever heard of before. In hindsight, I believe I could have gotten an extra $300 to $400 for that set. It was an absolute gem! G helped me with transport. If it wasn’t for him, I’m not sure I would have inherited this beauty and clocked in this sale. The two movers I usually work with have been unreliable as of late. Not that it is their fault. One has been overbooked. The other has had recurring issue with his truck. I’ve missed out on a handful of opportunities due to challenges surrounding prompt pick ups. I scored on a handful of other phenomenal pieces this month that I was able to pick up, load and unload, with G’s help. My aunt who has known about G and his influence in my life once told me that people like him are angels placed on our path to assist in our evolution process. I believe that as well. I would have been lost without his generosity, patience, counsel and faith in me. To have someone like that in my corner is an immeasurable blessing. To have generated the most cash out of furniture sales since 2022 started is also a great blessing. To have made that happen during my most difficult month from what would have been mislabeled as junk is the cherry on top; the money I make is positively charged. There’s still a week left in July and I have half a dozen items listed on the web or in the process of being revamped and advertised. I’m grateful to be able to do what I do with the help of goodhearted and honest people such as G who genuinely care about my wellbeing and want to see me do well. My hustle is not a one person’s hustle. It yields maximum results and flows easier with a partner I can depend on. However, connecting with the right partner is no easy task. G just so happen to be keen on wood working and furniture restoration. Tell me now, how could I believe in coincidences? Just like with Z, A and J, we seem to perfectly align and balance out one another’s personality at various levels. G had not foreseen this as something he’d be getting into but he now gets a kick out of flipping furniture. He finds it even more satisfying when refurbishing and upcycling are part of the equation. I think he appreciates me very much because he sees parts of myself in him. I do too. Each other’s mirrors and keepers we are. If death was to claim me, G would probably be the first to know and inform my family. When I slack off or do something I’m not necessarily proud of, such as distancing myself from my parents because my interactions with them feel either unauthentic or too emotionally taxing, I’m not shameful or afraid to open up to him about what I observe in my own behaviors. I’m transparent about my patterns and triggers for I know that I can rely on him to be mindful of them as opposed to leveraging them against me. It is a big statement to make but after giving it some thoughts I can confidently make it: if my time on earth came to an abrupt end, he would be the one person I trust with the relocation and management of my art. I feel his handling of my creations would be most in line with my original vision and desire. The truth of the matter is that I’d trust G over family members. I’d trust G to care for my pets in my absence. I’d trust G with watching my future children if such scenario presented itself. I’d trust G him with my finances, investments, contractual obligations and documentation. He knows more about me and what I’ve gone through than most people in my life. My wish is to pay him back in full prior to November while establishing a strong foundation for myself. Lately I’ve had my doubts but I’m now convinced that I can do all of that and more. I believe I can turn my life around faster than I can imagine by simply sticking to what feels right and in alignment with my soul’s purpose. The rest of of 2022 will constitute a prolonged period of intense integration for me. I cannot let up. I cannot relax just yet. There are things I’d like to see come to fruition sooner than later and it’s up to me create a momentum that I can harness over time. In order for me to thrive, I have to set myself up for it. I must call all of my energy back to me and create the optimal conditions for my creative channels to open up. Although I have unwavering trust in divine timing, I know the role I must play in manifesting the kind of life I desire for myself. I know what I require to feel my best and I understand that all I have to do is honor those requirements with uncompromising discipline. It is both simple and hard. It is both incredibly demanding and rewarding. Now is the time to further invest in myself. I ought to cut myself off from anything that pulls me down energetically or causes me to shrink. I ought to clear space to receive what is vibrationally aligned with who I’m becoming, what I’m doing and where I’m going. I ought to put in the work, stay patient and stand out of my own way. I ought to rid myself of unnecessary distraction and continue to prioritize wellness, truth, intentionality, learning, experimenting, as well as vulnerability with self and others. As I prepare to shift my regimen, I have high hopes that I will unlock deeper levels of understanding and compassion for self, which will in turn allow me to better understand and commune with those around me. In the pursuit of my dreams, I ask to be inspired to do what would best serve the collective and be given the strength to achieve it no matter the difficulties I encounter on my journey. On this day I give thanks for all of those who have greeted me with joy, genuine support and clarity - especially G. I pray for peace in his heart and the hearts of those who are dear to him. He has a sister who has survived severe narcissistic abuse from a man who is now incarcerated for some other reckless act he committed. Unfortunately, they have children together. G understands. We don’t even need to get into it; he just gets it. He has witnessed the aftermath of highly toxic relationships. He knows what it takes to reclaim one’s sense of self and heal from codependency issues. He doesn’t let me wallow in self pity. He doesn’t let me stew. He simply allows me to be human. I hope that he is protected and sustained so that we may continue to shine our light in each other’s lives for many years to come. He probably won’t ever read this entry but who knows, maybe one day I’ll read it to him. G & I don’t do the sappy stuff but every once in a while I feel the urge to express just how grateful I am to count him as a supporter and friend. Tomorrow, when we connect to go over weekend deliveries, I will share some of these words face to face. I won’t assume that he already knows where I stand. I won’t be settling for that. He’ll probably play it down or laugh it off but I know it’ll mean something that I speak it. I usually write these things you know… It’s often easier than verbalizing them. Sometimes, however, people need to hear you say what you have to say while looking them in the eye and I’m a lot better these days at putting my guards down to speak entirely from the heart. Earlier this year, when G stepped in to help me out of a jam, I didn’t know whether to trust him. I feared his help could stem from some sort of need for control and was cautious about accepting any care package with strings attached to it. Despite feeling isolated and being in desperate need of assistance, I knew I was at my most vulnerable. I refused for anyone to exercise any type of reign over me. I wasn’t willing to jeopardize my sovereignty after the fight I had to put up in order to break the spell I was under. I first toyed with the idea of taking the job he had offered me but something about it felt off. The illusion of a job “security” was attractive but I sensed it wasn’t the right fit for me and was only going to delay my manifestations. With that in mind I was concerned that G wouldn’t take it well if I turned down an opportunity like that. He needed help and had been thinking of hiring someone so he could delegate work. I felt I wasn’t the right candidate but didn’t want to come off as unappreciative. I ultimately saw it as a moment of truth for I knew I no longer wanted to work in that field, in any capacity. I stood my ground and honestly shared my sentiment. I didn’t want to betray the promises I had made to myself regarding the paths I felt called to explore next. Besides, I needed time to heal - plenty of it. Did he see value in me outside of the context he had placed me in? Did he really care about what was best for me? Was he willing to help me if not on his terms? If he could respect my decision and still extend his support to me without trying to impose his will on me then I’d have reasons to feel safe opening up to him, sharing my struggles, describing my goals and receiving his guidance. If not, I’d accept that it was strictly business and that I had to sort out my personal issues elsewhere. After many years of working together, fully trusting in G is not something that I regret. G has demonstrated to me in recent months that he has no agenda other than my agenda, despite having lost touch and reconnected with him at the most trying time of my life he’s been there when it counts. So yeah, in case you ever read this G, thank you… I lack the words to express my gratitude for all that you’ve done for me. Whenever I try to, you won’t let me go on for long. I know that you know but still, you deserve to hear it more often. You are rock solid and your heart is golden. You’ve done a lot and I could never forget it. As a matter of fact, why wait until tomorrow when I can send a message that says: “Thank you dear one. It is an honor and privilege to know you. Thank you for all that you do. I don’t say it enough, leaving things for tomorrow while tomorrow is never promised. With this prayer in my heart, I won’t just assume that you know - I’d rather know that you know for sure. We don’t always see eye to eye but through it all you’ve been real and that’s more than I could ask for. Thank you for being you. Thank you for believing in me. Whenever I forget who I am, you’re there to remind me. I believe it is what friends do for one another. You have given me the gift of one of the most dependable and functional relationships I’ve had in my adult life and I cherish you with all my heart for being my sounding board whenever I need one. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” So that’s it for my appreciation post… That’s all I got on G - for now. What about you? Do you have a G in your sphere? Have you expressed you gratitude for that being’s presence in your life? What’s your G story? What has such relationship taught you about yourself?

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