The garden.

May 22nd, 2021

The garden has been a labor of love - there can be no debate about that. It is the product of faith, hard work, and dedication. It is the result of firmly believing that a rocky hill could prove fertile soil with a bit of tlc, one which had been barren for many years. Tremendous time has been allocated to collecting pine needles, cleaning out debris, watering, pruning, dusting, removing spent flowers and dead leaves, loving, greeting, caressing trees, plants, bushes and their lush foliage, gasping at the sight of new growth or blooms, smiling at them, speaking to them, sowing new seeds of hope and simply observing nature take its course. With some degree of human cooperation, magic begins to unfolds. That’s wonderful, isn’t it? In more ways than one, I step outside to meet myself - to be at peace with myself and the world around me. In the garden, I find all the pieces. It’s a feeling of pure bliss and untainted joy. The garden is the ideal spot for me to replenish my energy. It’s an enchanting refuge threaded with urban wilderness and challenging factors that provides the perfect terrain for me to master my thoughts. I get to empty my mind when I make use of my hands - it works like a charm. Manual work to me is generally meditative but there’s an added bonus to working in the garden daily. I’ve noticed my meditation are most powerful when I’m physically grounded, barefoot, anchored into the earth. It has taught me to slow down and catch more of the in-betweens. It has taught me to move at my own pace and stick with steady output until the most difficult tasks get accomplished. I don’t appreciate being rushed when tending to Her needs. I don’t take shortcuts when it comes to Her either. If physically taxing, I retreat and return until mission is complete. If the mission fails, I try again a different way. My peace is disturbed whenever it enters my awareness that something in the garden requires my attention. It’s a deeply intimate and symbiotic relationship in which I take care of Her and She takes care of me. To simply sit in awe of Her, noticing her bountiful charm and contemplating her infinite beauty soothes my soul. Nature is the most potent medicine I know of; it is both chaos and restoration, destruction and regeneration, beginnings and endings. I am utterly convinced that having immersive access to Nature has had a tremendous impact on my health, greatly improving my overall quality of life. There is no greater reward in exchange for my nurturing and sweat than to see her thrive and multiply. New growth is worth the back pain, splinters, ant bites, cactus pricks, scraping and scaring earned myself along the way. Along with countless lessons, working on and in the garden has taught me a great deal about commitment and duty to care. I feel responsible for taking care of the garden as I know for certain that it will not get done otherwise. No one but me is really up for the task. Not only is there visual appeal in caring for the garden, it is a way of organically supporting other life. Over the years, I’ve watched it transformed from a dry land of no action to an oasis that welcomes visitors bearing all sorts of wings or crawling little legs. Birds, lizards, butterflies, spiders, bugs, worms, squirrels, you name it. The ultimate goal was to revitalize the soil and therefore maximize the backyard’s potential. To be able to witness such a phenomenal and steady growth further informs me of the extent of my creative powers and the ease in which things flow for me when in alignment with nature. Seeing it recover so well also reinforces the notion that hard works always pays off. Love - there has to be genuine love and care involved. That’s what I believe. It’s sort of an ideal relationship, in which sacrifices for the sake of love hurt good and yield great satisfaction. I delight myself with disturbing the top layer of soil and picking up debris with my bare hands although it requires me to squat and fold much too often for my fussy spine. I’m typically very sore afterwards but I suppose it’s like running or lifting for some, I’ve grown to love the burn. I see it has an opportunity to deploy all muscle groups - arms, legs, glutes. It’s an opportunity to get some sun. It’s an opportunity for introspection and heightened clarity. It’s an opportunity to breathe some fresh air and connect with the source. It’s just wonderful. A true and pure source of comfort and divine blessing. Every outing delivers its own experience, all of which are deeply healing. Answers come clearly. The relationship is clean and reciprocal. I give her attention and she purifies me in return. It’s a relationship within the context of which I genuinely want to do my best and provide in every which way I can. That’s quite inspiring to me. It’s been a lovely ride thus far, a profoundly restorative journey and an unparalleled source of fuel. I don’t think I’d be willing to go without a garden - it seems to be a requirement now.


Reading this entry made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. I cultivate a strong connection to my immediate environment - indoor or outdoor. The spaces I occupy ought to be calibrated to suit my needs and deliver on what it is I wish to experience. I get to set the tone. However, there’s always a level of compromise involved. One has to work with what’s provided, embrace its condition and make the most of what’s available to play with. My time in the garden has been nothing short of amazing. In Her arms I witnessed miracles unfolding daily. It’s quite formidable what we are blessed to see when we pay attention. So much is happening at all times. So much of the magic of life is dismissed, taken for granted. For long the garden was my sweet escape and to this day remains a metaphor for existence. Whilst I’ve inherited countless scratches, cuts, and bruises from my days spent outside tackling manual work, I’ve received even more guidance from my interactions with the elements. It is a source of infinite wisdom where stillness is easily found and peace reigns supreme.

#CultivateYourGarden #WaterYouWaterMe #DomesticatedFeral #WildCat #WorkingHands #GardenWork #GardenNaked #InMyElement #GoOutside #VitaminD #CoCreation #MotherNature #SunGod #TerraFirma #ColdEarth #MoreLife #Grounding #Symbiosis #Regeneration #Growth #Healing #Oneness #Alchemy #Partnership #Peace #Love

Trips down memory lane.

May 24th, 2021

Self aware / highly introspective
Incisive / sharp analytical mind
Assertive, yet reasonable
Passionate, yet patient
Humble, yet confident

Self assured but not obnoxious

Spontaneous but not reckless

Protective but not controlling
Tactful & sensible
Subtle & clever sense of humor / wit

Charismatic / carries themselves with pride 

Commands respect / do as they say
Intelligent / curious / inquisitive mind
Well read / educated / cultured / refined
Well travelled / open minded / tolerant
Well spoken / expresses cleanly & eloquently / impeccable with words
Brilliant / driven / purposeful
Adaptable / strong faith in the process
Self reliant / resourceful / optimistic
Thoughtful / charming / attentive
Committed / determined / loyal
Gentle & loving

Imaginative & creative
Values privacy & alone time
Values new & unique experiences
Values romance & creating memories
Values conscious living, shopping, & sustainability
Deeply connected to nature

Willing to learn

Striving for adequate balance between work, rest & play

Moved by art, literature, film, music, beauty, authenticity, bravery, & social justice
Unplugged from the social media matrix / grounded / present

Perceives intuition as highest authority / strong sense of self 

Discerning / activated third eye
Adventurous with food / travels / sex
Free spirited / full of surprises
Works / design / creates with their hands in one way, shape, or form
Cerebral / robust circuit of neural pathways / academically informed
Genuine interest in politics, social issues, non profit involvement / support
Genuine helper / selfless / giving
Sensual / romantic / sexual
Great dance partner / versatile / not so serious
Excellent kisser / cuddler
Responsible & mature

Fluid & down to earth
Values original traditions & ritual making
Value self development & spiritual growth
Great attention to details / good memory
Strong integrity / morality / ethics
Doesn’t look but sees
Doesn’t hear but listen
Strategic planner / multiplier
Trustworthy / dependable / pragmatic 

Straightforward / honest
Bold / daring 
Enjoys a good intellectual debate

Doesn’t take things personally

Can work through triggers and blockages
Can handle being challenged
Gentlemen-like / sweet / caring
Emotionally available
Emotionally aware
Fair / empathetic
Respectful / kind

Someone tell me?

Is it too much for a girl to ask…


Exactly a year ago today, I wrote this entry in my journal. Lately I’ve been revisiting old notes and I’ve reached the conclusion that I should share them because… I mean - wow. It’s quite fascinating to observe my state of mind then versus now - what was shed, what has stuck or developed since then. I’m so grateful to be standing where I am today. Here’s to rolling with the punches, learning, growing, and expanding in love. Over the next couple of weeks I’ll be uploading and reflecting on past journal entries from May and June of last year. Looking forward to it!

#ThenVsNow #NeedsVsWants #NarcAbuse #CoDependency #HealingProcess #SelfHealing #SelfInquiry #SelfCare #SelfLove #SelfReclamation #RadicalHonesty #MetaCognition #HealthyTools #DailyPractice #EmptyTheMind #FollowYourIntuition #TrustTheProcess #SeekAndFind #AllIsWell #Journaling #Unpacking #Reflecting #Learning #Growing #Thriving #WriteItOut #FeelItOut #DoWhatYouGottaDo #ThankYouMorePlease

Journaling prompt:

What makes you feel beautiful?

This statement appeared as a caption on one of Karina Sharif’s post. I saw it, took it and ran with it. Thought it would be lovely to use it as a prompt and reflect on what that means for me - a great way to evaluate my own aptitude at spotting the beauty in me.

A good hair day makes me feel beautiful.
Smooth, supple, and glowing skin makes me feel beautiful.
A red lipstick makes me feel beautiful.
Holding space for someone else makes me feel beautiful.
Demonstrating great patience makes me feel beautiful. 

A burning desire to better understand others makes me feel beautiful.
Deeply bonding with living creatures from the animal or plant kingdom makes me feel so very beautiful.
Being of service makes me feel beautiful.
Making environmentally conscious lifestyle decisions makes me feel beautiful.
Showering my partner with love and kindness makes me feel beautiful.
Being radically honest with myself makes me feel beautiful.
Being gentle with others makes me feel beautiful.
Making great stride in my healing journey despite how ugly it may get at times makes me feel so beautiful.
Pouring into my own cup makes me feel beautiful.
Practicing mindfulness makes me feel beautiful.

Boundless gratitude for the breath of life brings me to renewal.

Developing profound conscious awareness has transformed my life.

Fueling my creative side and moving to the beat of my own drum has been deeply healing.

There is no other way to live but to honor the self and show appreciation for the infinite beauty which resides within and all around us, generously and continuously, with much grace.

Cultivate the beauty from within so you can reflect it onto the reality of the world you live in.

The Universe always provides - seek and you shall receive. 

#JournalingPrompt #WriteItOut #FoodForThought #TheBeautyWithin #WhoAreYou #LawOfAttraction #ConsciousAwareness #SelfInquiry  #SelfKnowledge #SelfCare #SelfHealing #SelfLove #SpendTime #TruthSeeker #Gratitude #Beauty #Honesty #Vulnerability #Gemini #Mercurial #Mystical #SufiEmpress #DivineFeminine #WholeWoman #ThankYouMorePlease #PathOfAnEmpath #INFJ

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